After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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