So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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