We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
