i think i have two assholes
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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