I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
