I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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