new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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