Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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