Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
