I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
