I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
