VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
this will be a night to untag.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
