There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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