ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
