My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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