Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
