worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
