after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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