ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
