I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and she was petting her beer can
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
