he shaved USA in his pubs
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
