i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
