Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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