I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
