Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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