Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
