...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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