Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
