Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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