I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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