I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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