It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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