do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
