Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I touched a dick in church today
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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