She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
