You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
