Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
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bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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