There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
