dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
