And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
