Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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