Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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