Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
