I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
