Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
