and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
