It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
