watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
