??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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