she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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