he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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