I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
