so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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