I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
