why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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