haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
