That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We don't watch enough power rangers
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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