I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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