The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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