I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
