About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
