you have to choose: penises or morals?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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