I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
