But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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