apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
