i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
