ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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